I Hate Funerals

I can't say enough how much I hate funerals. I know no one likes it. But I HATE it with a Passion!

So, why do I dislike it that much that I have to repeat the word 'hate' twice? Everyone knows funerals are to honor the passing of loved one(s) and pray that he/her may be at peace where ever the after-life is. However, it messes me up on the inside and because of that, I'll have another million questions running through my head!

Emotions are stirred up, tears slowly creep up and the body reacts to the solemn music and atmosphere. I'll try to hold it in as much as I can, but each time it gets tougher to keep them all in one place without 'exploding'. Then comes questions about my own life - purpose, meaning, legacy, etc, as I hear the life stories of the deceased and reflect on them.

Another reason for my loathe towards funeral is seeing a good person being taken away. We could use one more person like that, but instead of having one more, we lost one. Yes, some people have told me that I can stand in as a "replacement" of the good guy, until another one shows up. But, I'm no good-guy quality as the deceased was. It was natural for the departed ones, but it'll take me a lot more than just wanting it. And comes the debate of doing the right thing versus doing things right.

Long story short, I really despise funeral.